Random thoughts and discoveries

I have made a 'discovery', a bag of Joyce Meyer tapes I found on the ship which I am now enjoying listening to. She has always seemed to be on a level I could understand clearly and doesn't go about fooling herself when it comes to self evaluation...I like that about her.

My own self evaluation has come up wanting, lacking. But I have in no way tried to build myself up into something I am not. Rather, I was told by a close friend that I expect to much of myself. It could be that I create to much undue stress thinking about all of the expectations I have in my mind, not including supposed expectations others may have of me.

I sincerely hope (if that is the case) that I move on from this stress because I can see where it could cause me a lot of indecision and doubt in every day life. I would like to think that I prepare myself for changes, expectations, trials by moving ahead in my actions - by making decisions to advance myself.

What am I rambling about?

I have made the decision to move on from the ship since technically my job is done here for now (not necessarily Mercy Ships). So now I need to to think about going to work at the IOC (Mercy Ships International Operations Center)in Texas or going home. In making one decision, I have created more decisions to be made.

Ahhh, that's life you say? Yes, I suppose it is...But it doesn't make it any easier.

From there, it creates thoughts of expectations for myself that diversify into the two different scenarios...But really, why should I concern and worry that far ahead when I haven't even decide which road I will be going down?

As another good friend said once, 'Tyrone, you think too much!'. hahahaha

Yes, sometimes I suppose I do.