I was in the dining room last night with a plate of food, ready to sit down for dinner with my friends, when someone told me that Benjamin (the 14 year old boy that I wrote about in my last blog) had a Respiratory arrest (stopped breathing) when being transported to CT scan. He was intubated and evaluated, the CT scan showed extensive brain damage including a midline shift (meaning not good). The family was called in they said their goodbye and were going to return this morning to come get his body. The plan was to keep him alive on the Vent until the family could make it at 8:30 am to come get his body.

 This morning I woke up at 6:58am and was supposed to be at work at 7:00am, I through on some scrubs and ran down stairs. I had to take some deep breaths, I didn't know what I was going to find when I opened the doors of the ICU. The lights were dim and there were 4 Dr.s and one nurse and the captain praying for him before they took him off the Vent. The initial sight was so peaceful, so different from at home in the ER.

At 7:30am Benjamin was gone.  Ali and I washed his body and said our goodbyes. I can't express in words the connection that I had with this little boy. I only knew him for a couple days, but when you pour your all into keeping a child alive and comfortable the connections is there.  It is so hard to see a child die, to see his father grieve, and see his little body be carried down the corridor in a body bag.

Now as I am in my cabin and trying to process all of this I just thank God for letting me have the time I did with this sweet little boy.