Drawer Clutter and Dirty Lies: The Most Useless Kitchen Tools Ever Made Popular

Being in professional kitchens taught me a lot of things. One of them is this: the tool industry's greatest trick was convincing home cooks that cooking is harder than it is — and then selling them the equipment to manage that imaginary difficulty. Today we're calling it out. From the banana slicer to the Rollie Eggmaster (yes, that's a real thing), here's the definitive Hall of Shame for kitchen gadgets that had no business being this popular.

Exhibit A through Z. You probably own at least three of these. No judgment. (Almost.)

Let me start with a confession.

I have been a professional chef for over thirty years. Hot, no-nonsense kitchens where if a tool didn't earn its place on the line, it got thrown in a drawer and never came back out. I've cooked aboard a hospital ship in West Africa. I've fed over a thousand people at a stretch on outdoor flat tops. I know what actually works in a kitchen — and I know what's a pretty lie wrapped in injection-molded plastic.

The Best High-End Kitchen Knives

People ask me all the time: "Tyrone, what knives do you use?"

I get it. Knives are personal. They're also the most important tools in your kitchen — more important than any gadget, any appliance, any piece of cookware you'll ever buy. If your knife is bad, everything you cook is harder than it needs to be.

I've been working in professional kitchens for over 30 years. I've cooked in 25+ countries. I've used cheap knives, great knives, borrowed knives, and everything in between. The ones on this list? These are knives I actually own, have owned for years, and would buy again without hesitation.

This is the premium tier. These are investments — and I mean that in the best possible way. Buy one good knife and take care of it, and it will outlast everything else in your kitchen.

The Best Budget Kitchen Knives

People ask me all the time — "Tyrone, what knives should I buy?" And honestly, it's one of my favorite questions. Because the answer might surprise you.

You don't need to spend $150 on a single knife to cook great food. After 30+ years in professional and home kitchens, I can tell you that the right budget knife — cared for properly — will outperform an expensive knife that never sees a sharpening rod. Every. Single. Time.

I put together a list of my actual picks over on my Kitchen Best Buys page, and I want to walk you through the budget knife section right here, with my personal take on each one. These aren't random Amazon picks. I have used these — at home and professionally.

Let's get into it.

Kitchen Tools - Weighing In & Weeding The Clutter

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The kitchen doesn't need more stuff. It needs the right stuff.

People love lists. And lately I've been running into a lot of kitchen tool lists that are worth talking about — not just to share them, but to put some real honest commentary alongside them. Because a list of 15 "must-have" kitchen tools is only useful if someone's actually cooked enough to know which three of those 15 are worth your money and which twelve are headed straight for the junk drawer.

Today I'm covering three articles in order. And there's a method to this — read through to the end and you'll see how all three connect in a way that actually helps you think smarter about your kitchen.

Kitchen Supplies

This picture was took in Monrovia Liberia, West Africa when I was working there in 2008-2009. The big thing street-side there was what we called Wheelbarrow Entrepreneurs in Monrovia!

(click the link if your interested in seeing the rest of them, quite entertaining!)

We have a reliable source for all our kitchen supplies...

and this is not it!

Update to Culinary Mystery!

Remember when I wrote this post with pictures:

Culinary Mystery (you need to read this to understand the rest of the post)

Well after almost 2 years someone wrote in with a link to the answer!  But first I want to ask why Arthur from Sheffield England DID NOT KNOW what it was when it came from his neck of the woods!

Joe writes this:  I have come across one of these and Googled to find out what it is. I can confirm, it's a double-sided fork/skewer for serving steak...Hope this helps!

Here is the mystery solved Link.

It's funny because at the time I had exhausted all kinds of Internet searches including Google and had not come up with anything...but first, you got to know what you looking for!  And it was almost 2 years ago!

Thanks, Joe!

Equipment 4 Small Kitchens and Small Budgets

There was a question posted at SeriousEats.com (of which I am a member) which garnered at least 64 comments:

What does a young foodie/recent grad need in his kitchen?

First, we will review my answer to the above question as I responded on the site - add suggestions and pictures to help visualize how this would work for anyone. (of course, if you are extremely messy and uncoordinated then there may not be a 'happy' medium for you and your kitchen)

A few thoughts:

The knife (as one person said) may be a more personal purchase, but maybe not if you spend more money on it than he would!

*Good forged metal well-known and trusted brand knives can be found at Marshall's, Ross, and TJ Max in the 'kitchen' section at great reductions...knife sets are a waste of money unless it's a chef's, paring, serrated/bread knife set. You don't need 7 to 14 knives.  These three do most of the jobs you are going to do in your home kitchen with some exceptions.  Kitchen Aid, Cuisinart, Chicago Cutlery also have good starting knives at Target and Wal-Mart.  Most in the 30$ or less range.

Cast Iron skillet (as somebody suggested) would usually be a good recommendation, but being in an apartment with a small kitchen, those things tend to smoke too much...and it's not about controlling the heat. It's about 'seasoned' cast iron heating up and smoking.

But consider this, I bought 2 twelve inch COMMERCIAL non-stick pans from Sam's Club (because at that time they came in two AND Sam's has a commercial restaurant supply section now - BUT NOT COSTCO DARN IT!) pretty cheap and they are made from thick aluminum under the non-stick coating...2 years later they still have the coating. I pulled the rubber handles (good for oven temps up to about 350) off and threw them away, cook on top, finish in the oven. Works wonderfully. Heavy-duty, lighter, and less smokey than cast iron.

Someone suggests getting a mini-processor from Cuisinart, but I say get the KitchenAid mini processor (3 cups model) not the Cuisinart. The reason being is because the 'catch' for making the motor work is a long piece of plastic protruding down from the lid, prone to breaking off! Kitchenaid, not so much small 'catch' on both sides of the lid that doesn't protrude past the lip much, even if you manage to drop the lid on the floor and break one, you can still swivel the lid to the other.

*BUT now you can order thru amazon.com or go to target and get an Oster blender with 3 cup processor attachment...here is a picture of what that looks like.  The one at target is cheaper than mine because its sold as a combo and my blender is the more expensive one. AGAIN, if you already own a Hamilton or some kind of Oster blender you can order the processor unit separately on Amazon.com.  Why is this important?  Because it doesn't create another electric appliance that needs a plug/outlet. AND saves space.

As someone mentioned, electric hot water kettle. Starts things that need hot or boiled water much quicker.  The one pictured is about $20 at Target.

Is he a serious tea or coffee drinker? Bodum (french press) goes good with that electric water kettle. $16 Target or Wal-Mart.

Small microwave as already said. $30 to $50 depends on how good a sale you find!  Good for melting things, heating things, mostly good for leftovers & quick fixes!

Coffee bean grinder for grinding spices or coffee $15. (I have 2, one for coffee, one for spices)

I buy bar towels in bulk from Sam's or Costco's, there just like the ones in commercial kitchens I use...and they're cheap. $10 for 20? (approximate)

Immersion blender, as already said. This thing should be a must. It's terrific. $15 at some Longs Drugs or $19 on Amazon.com with a 4-star rating or higher.  Procter-Silex.

My pasta roller still comes in handy for (duh) pasta, and also: pita bread, rolling thin tortillas, flatbread...etc. $30 for most brands.  This one $22 Amazon.com 4 stars (out of 5).

If you going to spend some money, then buy a nice kitchen cart with storage underneath...then you can roll a 'chopping' island around to use and store these small appliances underneath when not in use.

OK, I'll stop here...I cook professionally as well as not letting my small kitchen in my apartment keep me from cooking extensive and 'fine dining' meals at home.  This list is not made to be comprehensive of all things needed, but a help.  Just like using 3 knives in the kitchen pots & pans need not be in 20 piece sets...good cutting board, tongs, whisk, grater...

I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about my suggestions, stuff you currently using, or your own recommendations for this list!