Benjamin

I was in the dining room last night with a plate of food, ready to sit down for dinner with my friends, when someone told me that Benjamin (the 14 year old boy that I wrote about in my last blog) had a Respiratory arrest (stopped breathing) when being transported to CT scan. He was intubated and evaluated, the CT scan showed extensive brain damage including a midline shift (meaning not good). The family was called in they said their goodbye and were going to return this morning to come get his body. The plan was to keep him alive on the Vent until the family could make it at 8:30 am to come get his body.

 This morning I woke up at 6:58am and was supposed to be at work at 7:00am, I through on some scrubs and ran down stairs. I had to take some deep breaths, I didn't know what I was going to find when I opened the doors of the ICU. The lights were dim and there were 4 Dr.s and one nurse and the captain praying for him before they took him off the Vent. The initial sight was so peaceful, so different from at home in the ER.

At 7:30am Benjamin was gone.  Ali and I washed his body and said our goodbyes. I can't express in words the connection that I had with this little boy. I only knew him for a couple days, but when you pour your all into keeping a child alive and comfortable the connections is there.  It is so hard to see a child die, to see his father grieve, and see his little body be carried down the corridor in a body bag.

Now as I am in my cabin and trying to process all of this I just thank God for letting me have the time I did with this sweet little boy.

ICUalicious

There are somethings I never get used to, no matter how long I have been a nurse. One thing that gets me every time is a kid in pain. Last night Megan and I worked in the ICU and we had 4 patients, 2 kids and 2 adults. We both had one child and one adult. I had Benjamin who is 14 years old. He was referred to the ship by a local hospital (this is quite frequent) with some swelling on his left eye, fever, and a myriad of other symptoms. When he was brought to the ship his frail little body was giving up. He was not very responsive and was rushed to the OR. When I received report (they call it "hand over" here), he had just gotten back from the Recovery room. His head was wrapped with gauze and he just looked so uncomfortable. My heart just aches for kids that are in pain or just uncomfortable. My first instinct is to try to calm them down with soft words and gentle touches (these are the times I wish I could sing better than an ear piercing sqwauk) but none of these measures help. Benjamin was still minimally responsive and gets very agitated at times (he flops around in bed) which is common with people that have brain injuries. Please pray that Ben wakes up and is able to be his regular 14 year old self. When I look at him I wonder what he is like. Does he play soccer? Is he chatty or quiet? I pray that one day I will know.

Each day that I am here I see God working in my life more and more. It shouldn't be a surprise but it is. For some reason (arrogantly I suppose), I  find myself thinking that I will give of myself but not receive as much in return. I am shocked each time when I see God work in my life, man I have so much to learn. I am currently reading Timothy and am learning how to take instruction. Paul writes to Timothy and tells him what to do and also encourages him in his ministry and personal life. Through this I am learning that instructions and encouragement is not bossiness. I have a tendency to become defensive when someone gives me instruction on something that I think I have under control. So, here I go. My goals for now will be... listen, learn, and let go.

Screening Day Pictures

Working Together

Mercy Ships Founders, Liberian President, and Executive Director of the Africa Mercy



Deyon, Don, President Ellen Johson Sirleaf, Solfrid

President Bush Getting His Groove On in Monrovia Liberia!

U.S. President Bush's visit to Monrovia, Liberia: (disregard the old website watermark)

He was gettin' his groove on!