I have made a 'discovery', a bag of Joyce Meyer tapes I found on the ship which I am now enjoying listening to. She has always seemed to be on a level I could understand clearly and doesn't go about fooling herself when it comes to self evaluation...I like that about her.
My own self evaluation has come up wanting, lacking. But I have in no way tried to build myself up into something I am not. Rather, I was told by a close friend that I expect to much of myself. It could be that I create to much undue stress thinking about all of the expectations I have in my mind, not including supposed expectations others may have of me.
I sincerely hope (if that is the case) that I move on from this stress because I can see where it could cause me a lot of indecision and doubt in every day life. I would like to think that I prepare myself for changes, expectations, trials by moving ahead in my actions - by making decisions to advance myself.
What am I rambling about?
I have made the decision to move on from the ship since technically my job is done here for now (not necessarily Mercy Ships). So now I need to to think about going to work at the IOC (Mercy Ships International Operations Center)in Texas or going home. In making one decision, I have created more decisions to be made.
Ahhh, that's life you say? Yes, I suppose it is...But it doesn't make it any easier.
From there, it creates thoughts of expectations for myself that diversify into the two different scenarios...But really, why should I concern and worry that far ahead when I haven't even decide which road I will be going down?
As another good friend said once, 'Tyrone, you think too much!'. hahahaha
Yes, sometimes I suppose I do.
Leaving?
Well let me tell you...Everybody is probably on there way out, exiting, leaving, moving on to either the IOC (International Operations Center), Anastasis, Africa Mercy or some point between here (Chickasaw Alabama) and home, their own home.
Most of the crew of the Caribbean Mercy will be gone by Monday the 6th. I have chosen this weekend to go home and visit my family (mom and dad, sister, brother in law, niece and nephew) and my home church, Valley Fellowship.
By doing this I have created some more quality time for me to be with family after being gone nearly 7 months to Europe and Africa essentially missing several birthdays and holidays...And I have also released myself from a weekend of 'goodbyes' of which I don't really enjoy participating in anyway. And more than likely I will see a lot of these people again. They only left the ship, not the whole organization.
For those of you that may be mad at me for ducking out...I hope you have safe travels.
I will return on Monday and start back to work getting ready for my next phase. Cleaning and organizing all my foods into smaller refrigerators and freezers, shopping, cooking, cleaning, menu planning, etc...For about 8 crew members that are 'left behind'. Nine including me. I will also be responsible for being on a rotation for a 24 hour 'watch' that will keep me restricted to the ship with certain checklist and maintenance points to mark off. Happily I will not be involved with any night watches!
There were a few 'goodbyes' I made sure happened before I left...And those were of a private nature anyway, not for public or shipwide 'news', but a personal farewell to those that may not be coming back, or be seen again anytime soon.
And a big thanks goes out to Jeff (my boss) Chief Steward - 2004*2005 - best one I ever had...Best wishes and prayers for you and your family. You made it the best for me!~
Most of the crew of the Caribbean Mercy will be gone by Monday the 6th. I have chosen this weekend to go home and visit my family (mom and dad, sister, brother in law, niece and nephew) and my home church, Valley Fellowship.
By doing this I have created some more quality time for me to be with family after being gone nearly 7 months to Europe and Africa essentially missing several birthdays and holidays...And I have also released myself from a weekend of 'goodbyes' of which I don't really enjoy participating in anyway. And more than likely I will see a lot of these people again. They only left the ship, not the whole organization.
For those of you that may be mad at me for ducking out...I hope you have safe travels.
I will return on Monday and start back to work getting ready for my next phase. Cleaning and organizing all my foods into smaller refrigerators and freezers, shopping, cooking, cleaning, menu planning, etc...For about 8 crew members that are 'left behind'. Nine including me. I will also be responsible for being on a rotation for a 24 hour 'watch' that will keep me restricted to the ship with certain checklist and maintenance points to mark off. Happily I will not be involved with any night watches!
There were a few 'goodbyes' I made sure happened before I left...And those were of a private nature anyway, not for public or shipwide 'news', but a personal farewell to those that may not be coming back, or be seen again anytime soon.
And a big thanks goes out to Jeff (my boss) Chief Steward - 2004*2005 - best one I ever had...Best wishes and prayers for you and your family. You made it the best for me!~
Fixin, Fittin, and Gettin things done!
Alright it seems we (the Anastasis) will be sailing to Liberia in about a week, hopefully. We have all our parts crucial for the engine to work...so now I can actually plan my flight ticket and have it purchased. But now instead of going to the Dominican Republic the Caribbean Mercy has some further repairs itself...so perhaps I will be seeing 'sweet home Alabama' once again before disappearing on a sail to Barahona.
I am getting things prepared already because there is a 20 kilo weight restriction which means just one bag at 44 pounds. Not a lot I will be taking with me since my chef/culinary attache case weighs about that much...and since the most of the knives and equipment will not 'carry on' I will be giving away my OTHER possessions (What? You think I would actually give anything away in my attache case, thats ludicrous!) like Santa Claus in about 3 weeks.
But of course, I love it! I like to travel light and with only the essentials...like most though if given the choice I would probably take extra if I could. Most of the things I will be getting rid of are about used up anyway. My clothes (stained and weather worn) have been with me for years...actually I would probably be embarrassed by them except that #1 I'm a guy, #2 most other missionaries tend to have the same 'fashion' culture as me, #3 Being a guy most of the time I just don't care...I'm not here to impress anyone and my work clothes are usually taken better care of than the rest of my clothes, simply because that's mostly what I do, work.
So I am fixin' to leave this ship at the end of the month, I am fittin' to start 'cleaning house', and I am gettin' a plane ticket!
I am getting things prepared already because there is a 20 kilo weight restriction which means just one bag at 44 pounds. Not a lot I will be taking with me since my chef/culinary attache case weighs about that much...and since the most of the knives and equipment will not 'carry on' I will be giving away my OTHER possessions (What? You think I would actually give anything away in my attache case, thats ludicrous!) like Santa Claus in about 3 weeks.
But of course, I love it! I like to travel light and with only the essentials...like most though if given the choice I would probably take extra if I could. Most of the things I will be getting rid of are about used up anyway. My clothes (stained and weather worn) have been with me for years...actually I would probably be embarrassed by them except that #1 I'm a guy, #2 most other missionaries tend to have the same 'fashion' culture as me, #3 Being a guy most of the time I just don't care...I'm not here to impress anyone and my work clothes are usually taken better care of than the rest of my clothes, simply because that's mostly what I do, work.
So I am fixin' to leave this ship at the end of the month, I am fittin' to start 'cleaning house', and I am gettin' a plane ticket!
Marinating
No, this is not going to be an article about food. I am the one marinating, in my own sweat. As I sit here thinking about the love I have for this small fan I possess it reminds me of growing up in the projects having no air conditioner for at least most of my childhood life (till 17). You take a shower at night and then run jump in bed and try to go to sleep while the fan blows cool on your wet body. Then wake up in the middle of night stuck to your sheets with a damp pillow slowly suffocating you....
Yes the air conditioner is out on the ship again...But let me reassure I live no luxurious life. The galley (kitchen) I work in on board has an air flow system, blowers and exhaust, but no air conditioner. This ship is over 50 years old and when they finally installed the system in the ship they didn't run it to the kitchen(can I get a sane excuse for this error?!?!). So after sweating all day in the hot kitchen (I have drunk at least four liters of fluid already today and that was just at work) I have to start all over again after my shower.
This is usually not the case for my room. This last week has had problems with our generators (we are on emergency generator now), boiler (that means no hot water or steam kettles I can use in the kitchen, dishes, cleaning, or showers for that matter!), and my refrigerator and freezer units have not come down to the proper temperature for refilling them with food. And even if they do, it has taken way to long...That's not a good sign. We also have containers of food that have arrived but its hard to store what you already have in rented storage on the docks.
Oh, guess what? We are supposed to leave in two weeks!
But I'm not worried a bit...This is how it goes and how it is sometimes. You can only do all that you can do, and pray some more. God does things on His timing, if He ever does something right on time by your standards then that is all the more reason you should praise Him!
Then again, maybe I do live a luxurious life...I love it.
Yes the air conditioner is out on the ship again...But let me reassure I live no luxurious life. The galley (kitchen) I work in on board has an air flow system, blowers and exhaust, but no air conditioner. This ship is over 50 years old and when they finally installed the system in the ship they didn't run it to the kitchen(can I get a sane excuse for this error?!?!). So after sweating all day in the hot kitchen (I have drunk at least four liters of fluid already today and that was just at work) I have to start all over again after my shower.
This is usually not the case for my room. This last week has had problems with our generators (we are on emergency generator now), boiler (that means no hot water or steam kettles I can use in the kitchen, dishes, cleaning, or showers for that matter!), and my refrigerator and freezer units have not come down to the proper temperature for refilling them with food. And even if they do, it has taken way to long...That's not a good sign. We also have containers of food that have arrived but its hard to store what you already have in rented storage on the docks.
Oh, guess what? We are supposed to leave in two weeks!
But I'm not worried a bit...This is how it goes and how it is sometimes. You can only do all that you can do, and pray some more. God does things on His timing, if He ever does something right on time by your standards then that is all the more reason you should praise Him!
Then again, maybe I do live a luxurious life...I love it.
My Big Toe and other interesting things
As of lately I have been walking around with my sandal/flip flops on washing my big toe a couple of times every day, and wondering how many other people it will make flinch noticeably when they see it.
I had an ingrown toenail that was infected and had a kind of fungi in addition to other problems so in order to solve everything in one swoop...tada! No toenail! Nah, it doesn't hurt near as much as before and hopefully I won't bang it in to anything.
Its amazing how much pain you can be in every day and not even notice it. It comes to your attention one day that little by little the pain was growing stronger and stronger and you just realized by a stroke of genius that hey, maybe I ought to take care of this. OHHhhhh, the relief and happiness it brings from pain created to relieve the problem that has been constant...All worth it many times over.
Now the trick is to keep it clean and not let it get infected.
I wonder how many OTHER things in our life are like that? How long have we felt pain, put up with things, and/or ignored things so long that we didn't really know how much it was affecting us until we woke up one day and realized we had to take care of it. Yes sometimes things bring more pain in order to start the healing process but that pain should be nothing compared to the release/joy it should bring from being free of it.
Think about it. And remember the next step: Now the trick is to keep it clean and not let it get infected (again).
I had an ingrown toenail that was infected and had a kind of fungi in addition to other problems so in order to solve everything in one swoop...tada! No toenail! Nah, it doesn't hurt near as much as before and hopefully I won't bang it in to anything.
Its amazing how much pain you can be in every day and not even notice it. It comes to your attention one day that little by little the pain was growing stronger and stronger and you just realized by a stroke of genius that hey, maybe I ought to take care of this. OHHhhhh, the relief and happiness it brings from pain created to relieve the problem that has been constant...All worth it many times over.
Now the trick is to keep it clean and not let it get infected.
I wonder how many OTHER things in our life are like that? How long have we felt pain, put up with things, and/or ignored things so long that we didn't really know how much it was affecting us until we woke up one day and realized we had to take care of it. Yes sometimes things bring more pain in order to start the healing process but that pain should be nothing compared to the release/joy it should bring from being free of it.
Think about it. And remember the next step: Now the trick is to keep it clean and not let it get infected (again).
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